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Terrible Cost of Unforgiveness Dr. Larry Nims, Ph.D.

Historically, forgiveness has been addressed rather minimally and ineffectively in traditional therapies. We have always recognized that unforgiveness was a problem in human adjustment. But, we have tended largely to ignore it as a treatment issue. There are many reasons for such neglect I suppose, not the least of which is that we really were not sure how to eliminate it. Another is that many of us are uncomfortable and/or unfamiliar with spiritual considerations in psychotherapy.

Roger Callahan pointed the way for the technical process of treating unforgiveness. He deserves much credit for this finding. Still, he did not seem to recognize and/or acknowledge the enormity of the negative effects of unforgiveness on the human soul and spirit.

I am convinced that unforgiveness and related attitudes of resentment and bitterness are among the deadliest dynamics in the human psyche. Hence this discourse. I hope to alert we energy therapists to the opportunity and the obligation to use our elegant techniques to free our clients of this severely restrictive psychological and spiritual problem.

Here are just some of the inevitable costs to you and me whenever we hold onto unforgiveness. They are all in operation, continuously, in every unforgiveness, whether we consciously recognize them or not. These consequences happen within everyone every time that we get entrapped in unresolved unforgiveness. We have all paid these high costs in our lives over and over again. We probably still do pay them in many unhealed areas of our psyches and our spirits.

Consider these consequences of judgment, criticism and unforgiveness. 1. We continue to feel the psychological pain of the perceived offense. 2. We block healthy communication and potential reconciliation with the "offender". 3. We perceive similar offenses by others who remind us of the offender. 4. We attract similar situations, people and injuries to ourselves. 5. We give up our personal power to others to determine how we will feel and respond (actually, we "react") in similar situations. 6. We render ourselves incapable of ever really knowing, and learning from, the full truth about the event that damaged the relationship. 7. We take added toxic negativity into our present relationships. 8. We isolate/prevent/avoid/limit ourselves from having new, more healthy, and more fulfilling relationships. 9. We become vulnerable to becoming spiteful, resentful and bitter. 10. We disrespect, distrust and devalue ourselves at deep levels of our psyches. 11. We block ourselves spiritually from receiving help and healing from our Higher Source. 12. Our own spirits and souls "shrivel up" (contract) more and more.

Most counselors could probably add several more items to this "dirty dozen" price list. That is a very expensive set of costs to pay for self-righteous unforgiveness, isn't it? Yet, most of us have some of these attitudes buried deep within our subconscious minds. I have not seen a client yet who does not have numerous unresolved hurts and other emotional injuries, always with judgment, criticism, unforgiveness and related negative attitudes attached.

Fortunately, we now have the tools and the therapeutic support no longer to be victimized in all of these ways by the devastation of anger and unforgiveness. We can readily neutralize and eliminate all of the psychological, but not the spiritual, costs of unforgiveness simply by treating ourselves with EFT and other energy techniques.

About Dr. Larry Nims, Ph.D. Dr. Larry Nims, Ph.D. is among the first professionals trained in the Callahan Techniques; (now TFT). He was trained by Roger Callahan, Ph.D., in early 1990, and has been refining his own BE SET FREE FASTtm programs for the past nine years. He is now teaching and training professionals in seminars throughout the United States.

Important note
: All information on this website is for educational purposes only. In no way is anything here intended to suggest that it is a substitute for proper medical care or good common sense. While EFT has, in many instances, produced remarkable results, it must still be considered experimental and thus practitioners and the public must take complete responsibility for their use of it. Further, Bob Lovejoy is a certified EFT C-C Practitioner and offers EFT as an energy trainer and as a personal performance coach. He does not claim to diagnose or treat any illness.

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a healing modality that ahs been used to treat such issues such as Pain Management, Addictions, Weight loss, Allergies, Children's Issues, Animals, Vision, Headaches, Panic/Anxiety, Asthma, Trauma, PTSD, Abuse, Depression, Dyslexia, Carpal Tunnel, Anger, ADD-ADHD, Fears/phobias, Eating disorders, OCD, Blood Pressure, Diabetes, Neuropathy, Fear of Flying, Claustrophobia, Agoraphobia, Anorexia, Bulimia, and more.

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